Waiting For Him
by Cocoon02
Summary: Before she left, Fang told me she thinks he's dead, but...I don't think so. I've been waiting for him, all these years.


**Author's Note:** This fic is based on a dream that I had a while ago. 3000% serious. Not word for word of course, but the story line.

For this to work, in this story, Fang and Vanille came back _before_ Hope disappeared.

Enjoy! :)

* * *

_"Do you really think you can change her mind?"_

"It's worth a try." Lightning said. "It's either that, or let her die."

_"...I hope you succeed." _Hope told her.

"So do I."

Both of them remained silent as Lightning walked up the steps to the cathedral. It was eerily quiet, the only sound was her footsteps and those of a few scattered Order members. No night bugs sang their songs, no conversations could be heard. Luxerion was not a quiet city, although the cathedral itself was generally a quiet place. Still.

"I'm not sure I like this." Lightning muttered.

_"Well, it is 2 a.m., Light. Don't get paranoid on me."_

"Give me one reason I _shouldn't_ be paranoid."

_"..."_

"Exactly."

_"No one's hunting you anymore, that's something."_

"Not openly, anyway."

As she approached the pews, she scanned the room for Vanille's familiar red head. It didn't take long to find her. The girl was no longer wearing the odd headdress as she had been the last time Lightning saw her. For a moment, she could imagine that this was the happy, bubbly girl she once knew, instead of the serious, sad woman she'd become.

But reality released it's rancid breath into the air, and she breathed it in. She wished she could feel sad for Vanille, but her emotions lied as dormant as ever. She approached the "saint" with a monotonous, "Hey."

Vanille looked up at her from her place on the bench and smiled. "Hi!"

Lightning had to admit, her mask was nearly perfect. She took a seat next to the young yet old woman and said, "Are you really going through with this?"

Vanille's mask had holes in the eyes. They betrayed how serious she really was. She nodded. "I told you, I have to. I need to atone for what we did. I'd never be able to live with myself if I didn't."

Lightning sighed. "You know, I can't stop you. If this is what you really want."

Maybe on purpose, perhaps subconsciously, Vanille began working with her left hand, her right seeming to want to mold it like dough. She turned her bright green eyes to the floor and said, "I have to."

"I understand. But do you _want_ to?"

Vanille dropped her hands. "I need to. It's not about me. It's about everyone who's died. I need to end their suffering."

"But you'll die. Doesn't that matter to you?"

Vanille shook her head. "No. There's no reason to - I mean nothing compared to countless souls."

If it were possible, Lightning would have been irritated. "Do you know how much you mean to the people here? To Fang? To all of us?"

"We're talking about _m__illions_ of souls, Lightning." Vanille sighed. "I'm insignificant."

"You always were stubborn as hell." Lightning commented. for no apparent reason, she looked down, and something caught her eye. A glimpse of something silver on Vanille's hand.

"What's that?"

Vanille followed her gaze, and Lightning could have sworn she blushed. She showed her her hand.

"A ring?"

Vanille nodded slowly. "...Hope - gave it to me. Before he...disappeared. It's been nearly two hundred years now."

If Lightning could be amused, she might have smiled. "Really? I didn't know you two were so close." She could almost imagine Hope up in the Ark, staring at his monitors, mouth agape. This was clearly something he didn't remember. He would have told her if he did.

Vanille smiled wistfully. "Aside from Fang, he was my best friend. More than that... But I don't know where he is now. No one's heard from him in such a long time."

Lightning cocked her head. "You have no clue?"

"Nope. Before she left, Fang told me she thinks he's dead, but..." She fingered her ring. "I don't think so. I've been waiting for him, all these years."

_"Vanille..."_

She wished Vanille could hear Hope's voice. All the emotions he should have been able to feel somehow expressed themselves in every syllable of her whispered name. The soft tones of sadness and longing and love, coupled with the heavy burdens of pain, regret, and loss. Whether he remembered it or not, Hope knew it was true. Whether he felt or not, he knew he once did.

"I'm sorry." It was all Lightning could think to say.

"It's alright." Vanille replied.

_"Light, please, tell her what happened to me." _He must have either seen or sensed her hesitation, because he added, _"Please. She needs to know that I didn't abandon her."_

Lightning nodded ever so slightly.

_"Thank you."_

She made eye contact with her red-headed companion. "Hey, Vanille."

"Hm?"

"You were right. Hope is alive."

Vanille's eyes widened. But she didn't speak, as if she were afraid that Lightning was simply messing with her. Again, she began working with her left hand.

"He was taken by Bhunivelze as a part of his plan. Physically, he's a kid again. But mentally, he's still the same old Hope we know and love." She sighed. "Except..."

"Except what?" Vanille asked cautiously.

"Except I don't think he remembers being with you." Lightning admitted.

_"I wish I did."_

"Though he wants to." She added.

Vanille bowed her head. "I see." She took about thirty seconds to think, then said slowly, "...How, do you know?"

"Because I've seen him. Talked to him. He's helping me with my mission as savoir. He understands what's going on better than I do, better than anyone."

Vanille gave a small laugh. "Sounds just like Hope. He always was the smartest." She smiled. "He used to try to explain everything to me, what's happening with the world. He used such big words, I didn't really understand. But that was fine, I just liked to hear him talk."

_"I remember talking to her, but...I still don't feel anything. I'm in love with her, but..."_

Love. the word caused something to click in Lightning's head. She spoke carefully. "You love him."

Vanille nodded, one of her pigtails swinging to rest in front of her shoulder. "Very much." Light glinted off of the evidence of that truth that sat on her finger.

"But he left." Lightning continued. "And then Fang. Everyone you loved was gone. You haven't seen them in years."

_"What are you getting at?"_

"That's why you're doing this." She finished.

Vanille appeared to be fighting an internal war. Her expressive eyes flickered for a few moments before she tensed and turned and looked again at the floor. Eventually, she began to shake.

"I - I've been alone for so long." Her voice shook along with her body, "I thought that they'd already died, that if I were reborn, I'd be alone again. So...so I decided to go through with the Soulsong. I t-told myself, that oblivion, was better than being alone."

Lightning put a hand comfortingly on Vanille's shoulder. "But they're alive, Vanille. You won't be alone, you're not alone. Everyone's just been a little...distracted. What with the world ending and all."

Vanille attempted a laugh and held herself in an effort to stop shaking. She took several slow, deep breaths to battle the same fight and eventually her shudders ceased. Her lips parted as if she were going to speak, but she just closed them again. She stared down at her ring in thought.

"...Can I see him?"

That was a question Lightning had anticipated, but not one she had the answer to. She wasn't sure how to respond, so she didn't.

_"I can't leave and she can't come here..." _Lightning could practically hear the cogs meshing in Hope's head. _"Light, take out your earpiece."_

She knew that voice. That was his I've-got-an-idea voice. She wasn't sure what he was thinking, but she did what she was told.

It wasn't long before Hope's voice could be heard from the small device. _"Hey, Vanille."_

She jumped, and began searching for the source of the voice. Lightning held up the earpiece as an answer. "H-Hope?" Vanille said hesitantly.

_"Yeah, it's me."_

She relaxed a bit. "You really are fourteen again."

_"Is it that obvious?"_

Vanille laughed. "I listened to you talk for decades, I know what you sounded like."

_"It's just my body, you know. I still remember being an adult."_

Vanille bit on her lower lip. "Do you..."

_"No, I - I don't remember being with you. But you have no idea how much I want to."_

Lightning got the sense that she was intruding by listening to this conversation, but as she no longer had the capacity to feel awkward about it, she remained where she was. Though, she did look away. In her peripheral vision, Vanille looked like she was about to cry.

"I remember." She said softly. "I remember all of it."

_"If I still possessed the ability to be frustrated, I'd be pulling my hair out."_ Hope said. _"Even what I do remember is vague enough to be unhelpful."_

"Are you saying you can't feel, either?"

_"Unfortunately. Neither Light nor I can feel emotion. We're living and breathing total apathy, and that's a generous word for it." _He sighed. _"I know what I _should _be feeling, I just can't."_

"What should you be feeling?" Vanille asked.

_"I - I should be blown away because I'm looking at the most beautiful girl in the world right now. I should be sad because I can't be with her. I should be happy because she's alive and well, but worried because she might not be for long. Most of all, I should _feel _that I'm in love with you, Vanille, instead of just knowing it."_

Now she really was crying, or at the very least, tears were making a slow journey down her face. "Hope..."

_"I'm sorry, I-"_

"No." She shook her head. "No, don't apologize." She looked up at the sky, eyes closed, and said, "If you were here right now, I'd kiss you."

_"I can see you, but you can't see me. It's not very fair, is it?"_

"Not even close." She fingered her ring again. "But...will I see you again?"

_"This...might sound harsh, but, if you go through with the Soulsong, then no, you'll never see me again. I understand why you think you have to do it, but Vanille, you don't."_

"But all those souls...Hope, I have to so _something_."

_"I understand." _He repeated. _"But maybe the Soulsong isn't the only solution. We still have some time, we can come up with something."_

"A-are you sure? Do you really think it's possible?"

_"Sure. Anything is."_

Lightning wondered, did either of them realize that they were quoting themselves? They had said those same words years ago, back when the only thing they had to worry about was a few fal'Cie. Thinking back, she supposed the two were close even back then.

_"What do you think, Light?"_

It seemed that their semi-private conversation was over. "Well," She said, "we'd better get thinking. I'd never hear the end of it if I don't save her."

* * *

"Are you sure _I'm_ the savior? I never would have talked Vanille out of the Soulsong." Lightning said to Hope, who was in her ear again, as she left the cathedral.

_"Yes Light, I'm sure. And all I did was tell her the truth."_

"I don't think it would have mattered _what_ you told her." Lightning responded honestly. "She trusts you. She loves you. She probably would have believed anything you said."

_"I don't know about that, Lightning. She's not stupid."_

"Never said she was." She sighed. "Well, I guess we'd better get thinking. I'd really rather have her live."

_"Me too, Light. Me too."_

* * *

**Anyone else tired of italics now? Haha. Well, there you go. I really did dream this - specifically - the part where Vanille was telling Lightning about her and Hope. Again, not word for word, but basically.**

**Aaaannnnyyyyyway, go ahead and tell me what you thought. Criticize my dreams. :)**


End file.
